Friday, March 23, 2012 Posted by 2cute4u at 7:25 AM Hey people! Miss me much? I miss you too o.. I just couldn't leave without saying goodbye.. I'm leaving blogger.. I've been saying this for quite some time but time and belle didn't let me actualize it.. And so, I have moved house,shop to www.chachacorner.com I'm promising you so much sweet fun there too o.. On a constant basis too. I was supposed to reply BankyW after what he wrote to me on my post- WEAKPOINTS But,since so much time has passed,(well, to me sha)I've let the statute of limitation take precedence. So, dearly beloved, I'd see you at www.chachacorner.com I have had so much fun with you and I have learned a lot from you too. You have laughed with me, Cried with me.. Conforted and celebrated with me so I'm missing you already.. I wont be happy till you join me over at www.chachacorner.com So, it's bye now from me my darlings.. I LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS!!!!! Digg 5 comments Links to this post
I've been gone for so long that I didn't know I'd be back.
I had thought to make some changes on my blog whilst I was gone,
But I guess things don't always go as planned.
When I was in my dark place,I'd read the comments on my blog and they made me smile;
At least, knowing some people thought or wondered about me, gave me some measure of comfort.
I really want to thank all those who commented on my last post and though I didn't respond,(please accept my apologies), I appreciated them and I just wanna appreciate you all.
So, I AM HERE...
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE
I NEVER WILL..
A very good friend of mine gave birth during this period, she's also a blogger and I'm so so happy her although I was too engrossed in myself to make noise as I would have loved to: This is saying a huge CONGRATS to her and her hubby..
Why do people experience disappointments?
Why do they feel that they've been hurt or betrayed?
Its for this simple reason:
THEY EXPECT TOO MUCH!
THEIR EXPECTATIONS CONCERNING THOSE PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO HIGH!
So, when these people do what we would ordinarily not expect,its so hard to take in and in the process we let ourselves be broken at their actions.
Have you ever given thought about how it would be if you didn't expect so much from someone or put someone on such a high pedestal?
You wouldn't be bothered by the person's actions!
Could we try to adopt this approach?
I think we'd be better off..
There would be less pain, death, crime and evil in the world..
This is 2cute4u and I haven't changed, I never will so don't hold your breath!
If I had so much love in me,
It would be yours
The little I have
I am giving to you.
I love you!
I have to thank NuttyJ, WildBoy,P.E.T. Projects,NaijaMum, Jhazmyn,@ilola and Beautiful for each giving me THE STYLISH AND VERSATILE BLOGGER...
I don't know if I truly deserve it it but I'm so touched that you would think of me and include me.
I'm most grateful and I have to say a deep thanks..
I give you yo all the same award..
My many thanks people!
How is everyone?
I have so much going on..
I really wish I could do justice to this awards, but please this is the much I can do..
I love you all so very much..
NaijaMum, i can't seem to comment on your posts, why? Not happy about it.. I don't think it's network either.
I have so mach to say but with little or no idea on how to communicate them to you..
I often wonder how people like Jodie Foster started and how they had so much drive to continue in the face of so many challenges and setback because I and even you must know that nothing good in life comes that easy and go success without hardwork is lasting..
Now Jordie Foster gets to preside over the 36th annual Cesar Awards ceremony on February 25, organizers confirmed late Monday. How is that achievable?
That's because she pushed herself beyound her limit and this new year 2011, I am urging us all to PUSH OURSELVES BEYOUND OUR LIMITS!
That is how we'd get to be the very best in whatever we have set out to do.
How was the holiday for you?
I had cool and quiet fun..(whatever that means, lol)
I am getting new lessons from a blogger friend.. I just want to say a huge thank you to you all who walked the walk with me..
I also want to thank all those who commented on my last post;
Thank you; that was Oh so nice of you all my sweethearts...
God bless you all immensely..
Now lets all go out there and be Trending stories this 2011!
Loving you so much already!
It just dawned on me that I'd forgotten to put a post up for my 1st year of blogging! I never knew I would miss it and I am shocked. It's just that my mind has been all up in so many issues that I have not had time to take a breather like focus on the simpler things in life..
Sometimes I wonder if I'm still fit to continue to render advice...
Like 'Physician heal thyself!'
For one so used to giving advice, keeping a clear head when all is in disarray it's so hard when you're in that same situation with your emotions running haywire; you can't even begin to remember the advice you so freely gave.
Still, I want to thank EroLyrics for walking the walk with me right from the get go...It hasn't been easy and I'm not used to 'all of this' still so new to me.. But I'm adapting..
So saying, I'm glad that through blogger, I have met some of the most beautiful,talented,wonderful and mega creative people ever.
I didn't know that Nigeria had such talented people(And I'm so serious). Wonderful friends who I have learnt a lot from and I am honoured to know you all.
Thank you people, Blogger and HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY to me!
I lost someone so close to me that I still can't make sense of it...
Sometimes I get accusing stares like: ' you made him drink more cause you left him'
I wonder if I destroyed his life in any way?
I've been heartbroken but it didn't make me destroy myself, did it?
We were close till the end, wasn't that enough? Yet, I still feel guilty and with that thought in mind I have decided to Re-Post 'Haunted' which I wrote earlier during one of my many moments thinking about him.
Everyday, I think of you, what would have been and what I threw away;
Everyday, I think that I killed you..Not just the day you died,but,when I threw what we had away;
Damn it, I feel so guilty.. feels like each day I live, I live the life you would have..
Damn it, I beat myself up everyday for not being there for you like I should have..
How did I come to be this way?
How could I have lost my soul,thrown it away?
I do my penance everyday, but it's just not enough, never will be..
Everyday, every damn single day, I wish I could call you and say , hey B...
But I can't!!!!
Do you know, I haven't removed you from my friends list on facebook?
I come online and I still rush to see if you're online and by some miracle,if you're there,
-That I could buzz you and ask you where you been and hear you calm me down and promise me goodies..
Worse, I can't seem to delete your number from my phones, and all..
what is this?
It's worse because since we're neighbours, I keep expecting you to drive by so we could go hang out..
How did you get so sick and I, me, that we share everything didn't know?
Surrounded with medicine as we both are and with all the medical services, how didn't we know.. ?
When we were back in school that you used to smoke and drink so much.. I tried to make you stop..
-And you did.... That was one of the conditions you had to meet before We date.
Why then do you haunt me?Why the torment?..
When it was time for a transplant,I willingly offered mine, but you, you in your stubbornness, refused
You refused telling me it wasn't that bad.. and me in my stupidity.. I believed you.
-Little did I know it was your way of protecting me..
I should have persevered!
I should have kept calling, maybe then now, I wouldn't be writing this.
This, this?what will it do for me? for you?will it bring you back?
Will it give me just a second, minute, to change it all ?
Because that is what I need..
Time to change this, see you smile,see your dimples..
Mock your inability to use your right hand and call you 'leftie'
and watch you riddled with embarrassment
hear you gimme gist.. Oh you really could tell stories and I enjoyed it!
I keep asking myself if I married you when you asked if things would be better?
I keep asking myself that if I had called you that morning, if you'd be here?
I keep wondering why I let that novel make me call later, and then , you were gone..
I'm sorry I wasn't there
I'm sorry, I took you for granted!Now you're gone and I can't take it back!
If I can, tell me, I will.
Everyday, I see things, stuff that remind me of you,
And I can't do this anymore.. I can't..
Tell me, what you want and I will
My guilt is punishing me and you can add more and I won't mind, just to show you that I'm sorry.
Just please don't haunt me anymore, please.
So you all have been waiting for me ehen?
Lol.. it's been really hectic for me..
Not been able to concentrate..
Working on the part7 for www.naijastories.com
I so hope you get tp appreciate this..
Ugodre.. gimme some days okay?
It part7 would be ready..
Love you all so very much..
Have a splendid weekend!
Monday afternoon and half way through my shift, my back was already aching from standing and bending over patients performing surgeries; as I walked out to get a drink my phone rang and it was with some slight reservation that I took Amina’s call with a happy ring to her voice;
“Madam,’ sup? You still standing? I’m home with oga , having sweet fun; I dey cook so I was wondering if there was anything you wanted me to prepare for you…when are you getting off exactly?” she asked
“Err…I really don’t know for now; work has chased every feeling of hunger or any imagination of food out of my head; I’m just running on adrenalin, stepping out for a drink, you know how it is na” I replied.
“sha” I continued;
“I’m glad you’re having fun; you need am, your pepper just dey ripe anyhow”
I said in a bid not to make her feel bad about my not wanting her to prepare a meal for me.
“No wahala, we go see later now, abi? When are you getting off?” she asked again.
“That should be 7pm, I’d see you okay? Take care and Mina?
“Huh?” She answered
“Thank you so much for taking me in and being there for me, thank you”
“Oh puu-leez!” She cut in-
“You would do that for me and more in a heartbeat, besides you’re my friend and I trust you with my life if it comes to that okay? So please let’s move on to less emotional topics okay? I really have to go now and so should you, I suppose dear” she said and cut the phone.
I stared at my phone for a few seconds and was reminded by the beep yet again that my short break was over. I gulped down my drink and rushed back to prep for my 3.15pm surgery.
I heaved a huge sigh of relief as I ended my shift and handed to those on for the night shift; with that, I made my way to the gate of the hospital. All my joints in my body were screaming to be relieved in anyway possible and I just couldn’t wait to oblige them when my phone rang; I looked and it was Amina yet again, I took it wondering what it was this time-
“Hi” I said,
I know that I sounded unfriendly but I just couldn’t help it, I wanted to be left alone-
‘Madam, we are at IT ;( A mini bar/restaurant, a huge hangout for a lot of people especially after work) Frank thought we wait for you since you’d soon be done with your shift, so we waited; come straight there” she finished.
“Really? Eh yah…that’s so nice of you both o” I enthused
“I’d be there soonish baby! Thank you so much”.
As I dropped the phone in my bag, I realized that I was seething with anger. I mean, what in the name of every curse I could summon was Frankie up to? Why couldn’t he keep to our agreement, cuddle up with Mina and let me be? Making me seem like one lonely bystander (even if I was) that could not get her fun unless she was included in someone else’s fun; what the hell was that?!
I vowed to have a word with him at the slightest opportunity that we are alone. I wanted Amina to be happy, just that, I hope but not at my expense. I prayed that things do not get out of hand; the scenario was already messy as it is.
Anyway, I got to IT and got ready to face them with a huge fake smile plastered on my face; two could play the game, I mused. I wasn’t about to show Frankie that suggesting to come pick me was getting me all hot and bothered and Amina certainly did not deserve me giving her any nasty attitude.
As I walked in to the restaurant, Frankie was the first to see me because he was facing the entrance to the bar of which the direction led to the restaurant.
“Look who’s here” he said as I got close to them over the music blaring all the while staring intently at me like he was searching for something, if he found what he was looking for or not, that I can’t tell. I handed him a cheery “hi” and a “thank you so much for taking the time to come pick me, you really shouldn’t have”.
Amina had quickly gotten up to give me a hug so she didn’t see the sneer on Frankie’s face as I gave my well rehearsed speech and the daggers my eyes threw at him in response.
“Oh no, it’s nothing” He said;
As Amina and I made to sit;
“We went for some groceries and then I asked if you like had anyone who’d bring you back from work you know? She said no” he continued;
“She said you didn’t even have a boyfriend or something of that sort to look at for you” he finished.
“Don’t mind him” Amina chipped in.
I minded him alright! I mean, what is this? What was he up to really?
Frankie’s smile rose a notch higher but I could see the malicious glee in his eyes; I smiled politely and replied that I hadn’t met anyone worth the stress. He asked me what drink I would have; did I want a drink? I wondered, I would probably choke! I was about to give some sort excuse when I heard this voice behind me:
“It’s you again”.
The voice sounded familiar; haa, yes. It belonged to the guy from the mall yesterday, what was his name again? Yes, I remember now, Fred. No way was I going to forget him in a hurry; fancy meeting him here.
“Hi yourself, and yeah, it is me alright, what did you think?” I asked as we shook hands. I introduced him to Amina and Frankie.
“You still won’t let me have the pleasure of knowing your name” He said.
“She’s Jackie” Mina supplied. I almost killed her with my eyes.
“Oops! I’m sorry, I didn’t know your name was such a secret and I wasn’t allowed to tell” She said with sarcasm that wasn’t lost on me; she was without remorse and was enjoying the whole scenario.
“So you both know each other or something?” Frankie asked indicating Fred and I.
“Yes. Well, err technically” Fred amended from the look on my face.
“I guess you’re done with work?” He asked.
“What say I get you dinner, please?”
Fast guy no be thief, I thought but when ahead to say:
“Err, my friends (gesturing at Mina and Frankie) did come to pick me up from work and I can’t possibly abandon them, you understand? I’m sure there’d be a next time” I said politely.
But Amina waved my excuses away:
“Please please don’t bother on our behalf, it’s perfectly okay, it’s not like we aren’t happy to have you ‘hang’ with us but some ‘couple’ time would be just nice; I hope you don’t mind Jackie? So please go ahead, you both have fun and please get home early enough ‘cause you’ve got work tomorrow’’
I had no ready excuses so I walked away with Fred saying my goodbyes to them and promising Amina to kill her later. Fred took me to a nice restaurant and the menu just about reminded me that I hadn’t eaten any solid food in 48hours; I was famished and Fred’s easy going attitude made it easier for me to settle in to the easy banter that soon, I found myself laughing uncontrollably at his jokes; it was as though we had been friends longer than an hour or maybe it was ‘cause I was tired so I was feeling a bit more receptive.
I was greedy in ordering; I ordered jollof rice, fried plaintain, fresh fish; then I saw garnished chicken and couldn’t resist that too, I had to have it all so that when I was done eating, I found that I couldn’t even breathe easily.
“You got quite a bit of an appetite there and it’s a wonder you don’t add weight; I’m impressed. You eat like you just got in from Somalia; I love your healthy appetite” He remarked as he paid the bill and tipped the waiter.
I smiled guiltily in between trying to apologise and explain my gluttony.
“So what do you do?” he asked as we joined the traffic.
“Me? Oh... aaah, I’m a doctor. A surgeon”
“You sure don’t strike me as one. You’re so young and I don’t know; just don’t seem like one of them” He said disbelievingly.
“I’m taking that as a compliment, so thanks” I retorted.
“No, really, I’m guessing you started quite early”
I shrugged, “I guess so” I said. “What do you do?” I asked.
“Oh, well, I’m in to a lot of things, but basically, I work with money; I’m what can be best described as a ‘financier’.”
“Really?” I asked. “How so?” I continued.
“Well, I bring ailing companies, establishments back to life and resale them or don’t, depends on the situation or terms of the agreement, aside that I’m a banker” he explained.
‘You live with your friend from the bar?” he questioned; I noticed that he had tacitly changed the topic shifting topic back to me.
“Yeah. Actually, I started staying with her yesterday, till I get my place”
“Where were you staying before your friend’s?” he asked.
I could sense the curiosity in his voice and I didn’t like it, I mean, why would I tell a stranger all about me because he had bought me dinner? I made that known to him in no uncertain terms and he immediately apologized.
“I’m so sorry. I just wanted to get to know you. I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw you at IT, I like you” he enthused.
“Whoa! Slow down mister! Do you like people this fast? Bet you like every chic you meet. Look, just get me home okay? Please.”
I couldn’t get why I was upset. We were silent till we got to the gate; I thanked him for dinner and got down from his car.
“I hope I get to see you again real soon” He said. I didn’t have anything to say to that so I kept walking.
I had barely knocked when the door opened with such force that I got scared stepping back for a moment till I saw that it was Frankie.
“You scared me” I accused.
“I’m glad” He said with some satisfaction.
“Look, why aren’t you with Mina?” I asked.
“She has work tomorrow, she should sleep and so should you instead of gallivanting round town with men on a week day” he said in a harsh whisper.
Astonished, I looked at him like he going crazy;I asked him:
“Are you kidding me? Really, you’re not serious are you?”
“I’m being as real as I’ve ever been with you and I don’t want this happening anymore” he threatened.
I was livid with anger.
“Or else what? What would you do? You’ve got some real nerve, telling me what to do and not do. I tolerate you because of that wonderful lady in there, God bless her soul, I wonder what she sees in you”
I could barely find the strength to suppress the anger I was feeling;
I pointed a finger at him
“I’d just pretend that you didn’t just say all that to me tonight, but don’t you ever and I repeat EVER do that again and; while we are on the topic, I don’t need you including me in plans involving you and Mina spending time together” I finished walking towards the room.
“That was why you got pregnant” he said.
It did stop me on my tracks.
“What did you say?” I asked staring at him in disbelief
“Your irresponsibility was what got you pregnant in the first place” he replied.
I died and woke up but I didn’t show it; I just started laughing and I didn’t know why but I’m sure he must have seen something scary on my face because he moved back a bit.
“Then don’t blame me for my actions, it’s your funeral baby” I said as I resumed my walk to the room.
I walked towards the gate as Frankie’s voice kept resounding in my subconscious. It was so funny how the one person who I had wanted to see and who had made himself elusive to me was now just a room away from me. It was so crazy! I remember my last encounter with him; or was it really an encounter?
I had gone to his home to see him after he had come to my place and we had a huge fight about the pregnancy and we both exchanged far too many hateful words, so a day later, I thought it was now safe for me to go see him thinking he might have calmed down.
I got to Frankie’s gate and since his maiguard recognized me, I had no trouble with my admittance into the compound and that reassured me in no small way because, I felt that since he hadn’t instructed Joshua to refuse me entry, then we were still good; after all, all we had was a couple’s quarrel right?
I spent the next two hours knocking on his door all the time pressing the door bell. I knew he was home; I know his work schedule; it was also a Sunday and more often than not, he barely went to church. I also called his number and intermittedly sent text messages, informing him that I was at the door and that he should come open up for me but he neither took my calls nor replied my sms.
It wasn’t that I just couldn’t leave the same way I came but, I was too ashamed and embarrassed to move let alone walk back to the gate because, it was obvious to his two other neighbours that I had been refused entry and I was in shock.
Finally, I called a friend of mine, Bisi and she told me to leave with what remaining dignity I had left that I could muster. How I walked out of the gate and took slow steps to the junction feeling different sets of eyes boring holes through my back from the duplex is what I could never, ever fathom.
I felt my heart break to tiny little unmendable pieces; as soon as I hailed a cab and got in, I told the driver where I was headed then I settled in to fully try to understand just what had happened back at Frankie’s and then, I crumbled into tears. Now if it was just tears, it would have been better ‘cause then, I might have felt or gotten better but I just kept sobbing brokenly from my soul as I began to actually realize what mess I had brought upon myself.
The driver kept turning to look at me worriedly but with concern, I’m sure I must have looked bad because he really felt that I would collapse or something of that sort.
Two days later, Frankie called me at night to tell me that all my plans had failed;
“You think you can trap me with that thing you’re carrying huh?” He screamed at me;
“But that wasn’t what we discussed earlier, you said I could keep it and besides, you know I can’t have another D and C, I’m scared! If you didn’t want this why do you always refuse to use protection with me? Please, I can’t do what you want me to do”
I said trying to make sense of it all, to reason with him but he wasn’t in the least bit interested or bothered but he just kept raining abuses on me on how I wanted to cramp his style; he dropped his phone on me. I just cried harder. From thence, my ordeal started.
Night has way of bringing out everyone to relax after a hard day’s work even on a Sunday and it was the sound of music blaring from speakers and different aromas whiffing through my nostrils that brought me out of my reverie.
I stopped to buy suya and then decided to stop at the neighborhood’s shopping mall for some chocolates and biscuits since those are basically what I feed on.
As I walked towards the shop, I promised myself that I would try not to dwell on the past; it wasn’t as though it would make things any better. I walked to the chocolate section and as I browsed through the variety, I felt myself relaxing as I proceeded to pick ones I wanted; I looked forward to munching my Cadbury mint flavour chocolate and just couldn’t wait and just then, a voice said from behind me;
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the sweet tooth type you know?”
He was so close to me that when I turned to the voice, I bumped into a chest, at least, that was where my eyes was level with; he was way taller than that so I had to raise my eyes to look at the face of the person trying to invade my privacy. It annoyed me that I couldn’t fault the face at all; he wasn’t bad looking; my ideal kind of guy under the right circumstances but of course, I hadn’t had those in a very long while.
Today, I just wasn’t in the mood to be friendly, nice or be receptive towards whatever the usual cliché that guys have up their silly sleeves; I barely acknowledged him as I turned back to the reason I was even in the same vicinity with whoever it was that had barged in on my alone time.
Done with shopping, I went on to pay my bills then I strolled out enjoying the breeze and the night life which was like a soft distant music to my ears when this powerful and sophisticated wheels wheeled to a stop right beside me; I was curious so I slowed my walked; no, I actually stopped to know who it was. The driver got down and it was non other than the intruder of my alone time! He raised his hands in surrender indicating that he had come in peace and introduced himself;
“Hi, my name’s Fred, you didn’t seem much inclined to being even the least bit courteous at the mall and I’m seeing you again, so if it won’t be much of a bother to you, can I drive you to your destination?”
I didn’t want any of that and thankfully, I had gotten to the junction that led to Amina’s street and I was almost home anyway and there honestly wasn’t need for help from this stranger.
I replied as I kept walking towards the gate and opened it to let myself in. Getting to the front door, I knocked; I didn’t even wait for a bit because Frankie quickly opened up for me.
“You really went shopping for the usual huh? He asked knowingly, “You sure didn’t take time though you know?”
He said in his desperate attempt to strike up conversation, I didn’t even spare him a glance as I continued to the room, my sanctuary.
Hello everyone! Hope you all had a blessed weekend? Mine was pretty hectic but I had fun! Got to see some people very dear to me and though it was short, I'm still glad to have had such little time..
Do you ever think that way? That even if time is limited, you still make the best of time spent with loved ones? Get to appreciate it?
Someone said I was getting personal on my blog, maybe that's a good thing or not, I still don't know.
All I know right now is that, I am evolving and I just don't know how FREE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS will turn out.
I hope you have been following the series-UNFORGIVEN TRESPASS? Well, I have another episode for you, I sincerely hope you'd enjoy it..
I love you all so very much and urge you to make the best of every minute you spend on this earth. Kisses!
There we both stood facing each other; what I felt at that point? I do not know. It was like I stopped feeling if for a while or maybe I just blanked; is that even possible? I could barely read the expression on his face because I did not care to look at him after the second that I had unlocked the door to let Frankie in; and now it seemed to me that I had let in my worst nightmare; I had let in the epitome of my pain, suffering and misery or at least, half of it all in that second. I just wonder why this all drama was happening to me all at once like there is one grave sin I had to atone for as soon as possible.
I had control over my emotions which was so unlike me and that surprised me; I didn’t utter a word to him but turned and walked in to the sitting room;
“Jackie, it is you; it really is you”
His voice was barely audible and I could hear the shock, wonder and disbelief in his voice. I still wasn’t feeling what I knew I should feel, to me, he still wasn’t existing. I turned to face him and this time, I looked at him, I had a good look at him and I noticed that he had some grays, (I wondered what must have brought that on? His wickedness maybe I thought to myself. All 6ft3 of him, dark and handsome enough to still create havoc for the ladies gullible enough to fall, neither fat nor slim. But I had seen him; I had seen him at his worst, not just seen but experienced it first hand; the nastiness and self centered trait just beneath the suave surface; he could see I was not impressed; I am sure the disdain and disgust I felt for him was firmly etched on my face.
“Let’s get some things straight here, some ground rules” I said stopping him midway- he just nodded.
“I have to tell you that as far as I am concerned, you’re just my friend’s boyfriend who I’m just meeting for the first time; I don’t know you and you don’t know me; during your stay here, try to make yourself scarce when I’m around in anyway you deem fit, I do not care; I don’t even need you to be a pleasant friendly stranger, I am sure you can manage that; me on my part, I’d try to move out of this accommodation as soon as possible, because the sight of you ( I said gesturing at him) isn’t what I care to see often okay? Do we understand each other perfectly?’’ I asked;
“Wisest decision I have ever heard you make” he said derisively.
I ignored him, if he expected me to rise to the bait then too bad for him ‘cause I was way above that; but there still remained one thing and now as I thought of it, I felt bile rise to my throat, but I knew I had to bring it up;
“Haa… Mina said I should get you something to eat; I’m sure you can take care of that yourself huh?”
He laughed at me; a laughter with an underlying sarcasm and I knew I was not going to like what he was going to say next.
“It’s what she told you to do right? So you just do as she says, my woman has spoken; I need my food ASAP; We are strangers so please act nice, I’m hungry; I’d go wash up and be out in a jiffy, let it be ready by then please? Thank you!”
So saying, he walked out on me!
He walked out me? Really? Did he now? I tried not letting that bother me as I had gone through worse situations. I felt the beginnings of a huge headache as I walked to the kitchen.
Amina had everything in full abundant supply; wife material! She had several tubers of yams lined up and it was then that it occurred to me that Frankie’s favourite meal is boiled yam with fried eggs and well garnished at that and then I smiled in satisfaction. After going through all the contents in the fridge and freezer, I brought out the container that seemed like it contained the oldest soup, warmed it up and made eba filled with lumps and set the food for Frankie on the dinning and went back to my room.
I waited for him to call complaining about the food but he didn’t; idiot! The fool, thinking he could order me to cook for him. I was too restless to lie down let alone sleep and I noticed that I was hungry; so I decided to dress up, go out for a walk then get something light to eat. As I made to step out of my room, a call came in on my phone- Amina.
“Babe how you dey? Shebi you don see my fine bobo?”
I rolled my eyes; I had him before you! A voice deep inside of me said and I shrunk that that kind of thought could have emanated from me. The way I replied, it would have been a shock to anyone that my mind was in turmoil
“I don see am oh. You have your job cut out for you oh, how are you? How far? Full house?” (Indicating if we had loads of patients.)
“No be small thing oh, full is an understatement! I hear you have 3 procedures tomorrow; I don’t envy you at all.’’
“Mina, it’s that devil Awolabi that wants to kill me oh, but I don’t mind the work, not like I have anything else doing” I said, while she laughed softly in response.
“Okay oo, give the phone to frank please” she said
“Frank?” I asked blankly
“My bobo na haba!”
“OMG I’m so sorry! I’m in the room, he’s in the sitting room, hold on please’’
“Haba Jackie, you are supposed to keep him company na, you sef! You too do! Try and loosen up. This guy is the love of my life oh so you both should bond oh as you are my best friend”
Oh God...I moaned inwardly, as I shut my eyes briefly. What kind of mess is this? I was just happy that she didn’t notice my lapse. I know Frank as ‘Frankie’ and had forgotten that his name is actually Frank; I was too slow to catch up. Amina is intuitive and I do not need her noticing any underlying currents ‘cause then, I would be done for.
Frankie was in the kitchen, frying eggs; at my voice he turned to me with annoyance, I handed him my phone;
“Mina”, I said explaining my presence.
“Me, how are you? Hope they’re not stressing my baby over there oh, yes, your friend Jacqueline took real good care of me (he said and pointedly ignored my presence); she gave me yam and eggs; I didn’t know you had friends who made sense, I’m missing you crazy; okay, I ‘d see you soon Hun” and handed the phone back to me.
He calls her ‘me’; hmmm such love! Well good for them, they should keep their lovey dovey acts to themselves. And not for the first time did I regret dropping my friends after my episode with Frankie all in a bid to move on… I wished for the umpteenth time that there was someone I could call up to really discuss the current events as they kept unfolding, couldn’t do that with Amina as she had become part of my drama filled life.
“I’m stepping out” I said
“I’d wait for you till you get back” he replied
“And oh, I had fun with the food you served but I wasn’t satisfied so I decided to rustle up something again, I hope you don’t mind?’’
I said nothing as I stepped out and shut the door gently behind me.
With her I found Blogger, with her, I knew life; with her I walked the walk
With her I knew men (lol)
Punch me not..
She's so loyal it puts me to shame..
She's one wonderful person, I really wish you could meet outside of blogger
She's none other than JOBSFORNAIJA!
Yes oh.. I know her; and very well
She's 'mrs private' so I have to stick to that
She one generous humble chic and yes she's as pretty as they come..
You would have heard of her site? No? Yes? the www.jobsfornaija.com
Where you can find any job you're looking for..
I just want to appreciate from the depths of my heart,
I love you so much (Even if I don't say it often)
Though we fight, I want you to know that you're always the 'ALL ROUNDER FRIEND'
When I'm overwhelmed I can't fully express myself
I can only celebrate this day with you
And hope that the best in life come to you
That you be happy
That you find fulfillment
That you never lack
That you never get hurt
That, in everything,Life doesn't let you down.
Happy birthday my love!
Pictures are courtesy of GOOGLE IMAGES..
Happy new month people! How are we? Hope you had a swell weekend? Not got much time on my hands today and I hope you get to enjoy this episode.. Till the next part comes your way..
I want to be done with UNFORGIVEN TRESPASS 'cause we do have some pressing issues to discuss.. The series would come faster.. I wish you all the very best that this new month has to offer and more.. I love you all to infinity!
“…I would be staying at Amina’s, Infact that is the reason she’s here right now seeing that you’re not eager to take me in” I replied in answer to Sweet’s initial question before I was informed that Amina had come.
“So you would feel better if I said I was going to put up at a hotel?”
I continued whilst making my way down the stairs to see Amina. Sweet didn’t even dignify my question with a response.
When I entered the sitting room, Amina was perched at the edge of the seat looking as uncomfortable as a cat looked when drenched in water with my mum looking at her, her countenance of someone who had perceived a bad smell. It was so funny that I would have laughed under different circumstances.
Amina stood up so fast I knew she couldn’t wait to leave;
“How far? What’s up? Where are your things? I’d soon be on call oh so I have to be on my way to the hospital; Sweet, how are you?”
She said all in one breath; I thanked her for coming then while she and Sweet exchanged pleasantries, I rushed back upstairs to get my belongings and proceeded to struggle them down the stairs with no help from anyone.
No goodbyes from a family I shared blood ties with, not even from my sister or her husband or Uncle Jay; I left with everyone happy to see me leave not minding what was going on in my mind or how I was feeling.
“Madam, what just happened in there?”
Amina asked with curiosity shinning through her eyes as we drove out of my parents’ residence, I could see, the beginnings of a gossip.
“How?” I asked;
“Haba don’t you have disagreements with your family sometimes? That’s what happened with mine na. Everyone needs space and besides like you’ve always been saying how I’m too old to live with my parents, so make I kukuma use this opportunity get my own place, because if I lose this chance, na im be say no more for me oh” I jokingly replied.
“Shebi na now you just dey wake abi? Sha thank God you did, it’s never too late, you’re welcome to stay at my place for as long as you want; why would you want to get a place when we can stay together, we are more out than in, you know the job; besides, I even got a second job where I’d be working 3days of the week too so, it’s not like we’d be in each other’s way”
I did not have a reply to this, it was too early for me to say and I have learnt that a free gift so eagerly given had to be accepted with utmost caution so I merely listened.
When we got to her home, she showed me my room which, thank God was self-contained and meant that my privacy was intact and she said I could help myself to the food in her kitchen and hurriedly rushed off.
I was alone again and had my thoughts to myself; this time, I thought long and hard. I was sad and felt so lost and lonely; how much do I have in my account? I wondered, I should find out tomorrow because, I wasn’t sure. This was a time I needed someone to hold me and say simple words like:
“I am here for you”
Apparently, I didn’t have that, the words, ALONE began to lend a whole new meaning.
I hung my clothes, arranged my cosmetics, footwear, my cds and my laptop, I had my bath and without bothering to eat, I fell in to an exhausted sleep until I was awakened by a rude knock on the door. I cursed inwardly as I struggled to ignore the knock willing it to go away. The knock became more persistent until it was obvious the person won’t let up. I roused myself and dragged myself to the door.
“Who is it?” I asked;
“Open up and you’d see who it is” A man replied.
“If you’re here to see Amina, I’m sorry she’s not in; you can call her or something to reschedule” I said, but he cut me off saying:
“I don’t need to do any of that seeing I’m her boyfriend and I pay the bills around here so please lady, whomever you are, open the door already!” He said with impatience and annoyance in his voice.
What?! Amina had a boyfriend who actually paid her rent and all? Why didn’t she tell me? I wondered; I wouldn’t have asked to stay with her if I had known, and then, there was something about the voice, I just felt I had heard it somewhere, but whatever, my imagination again, I thought; working overtime; I then called her just to make sure:
“Mina, ‘sup? A guy’s at the door oh; he’s actually claiming to be your boyoyo and wants me to open up for him to come in that he pays your bill; that true?”
“Heee, I forgot!”
“I meant to tell you but it escaped my mind as I was in a hurry; I didn’t even think he’d come in today; please, abeg eh, let him in and help me give him something to eat please, I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t bother you, but he always wants his food as soon as he comes in.” She pleaded.
I wondered at her not getting upset that the guy had the divulged paying her bills without even meeting me, apparently, he had no respect for her at all; but oh well, what’s my own? I shrugged, mentally dissociating myself from getting involved.
I sighed; so this is how it was going to be eh? I knew it would be too good to be true. I was already shaking my head knowing that I would have to get a new place sooner than I thought amidst the knocks that kept coming from the boyfriend asking why I had not opened the door for him. The guy sure sounded nasty and with little or no manners!
“It’s okay, I’d be glad to help you out, it’s not like there’s anything else I’m doing” I replied with a resigned note in my voice which I was sure she noticed.
“I’m sorry it won’t happen again I promise” Amina said.
I nodded like she could see me and at the same time, moved to open the door, and standing right there in front of me was Frankie, the guy who got me pregnant and denied my existence as well as the pregnancy.
Yay! It's my 100th post people and I don't have anything to say to you except that I love to bits and I have grown to know my source through you; all that I am and would always be has been through my constant communication with you.
I love you so much blogsville that it brings out the best in me, brings out the creativity and essence in me. I thank God and you all so much for bringing me to this place. This place filled with so much passion, love, friendship, care, support, loyalty and encouragement.
In the same vein, I want to appreciate STING on her birthday today and wish her the very best..The lady is one passionate lady who shows me that there's more to a woman even more than most of us can phantom. She's so friendly and quick to render help when needed. I love her, I really do. Happy birthday dear.
And now here's the part2 of the ongoing series which I have put up for Myne Whitman, showing you the extent of what I learnt from her. Enjoy
... Someone knocked on my door; I turned towards the sound but before I could compose myself and give permission for entry, the door opened and Sweet barged in with the sad look on her face that told how unhappy she was at the turn of events.
“Jackie what is happening?
What are you going to do now?” She asked and at the time, taking in the change in my room and the fact that I had packed up my belongings ready to leave.
“Wait, wait, are you leaving!?”
At my continued silence and seeming nonchalance, she fell on my bed and begged me to stay. I am too upset to care about what she was feeling because, come to think of it: she has it all. She doesn’t have to live here anymore; she has a brand new home and yet from her safe cocoon she still expected me to stick around and for what? Just to maintain that seeming semblance of normalcy, perfection and at what expense? Mine?! So now, I’m the sacrificial lamb? One who should endure the bad things, situations while, she, she goes on living what life she’s dreamt up, caved out for herself.
Imagine the inconsideration! Sweet was just like my parents! So she didn’t care what I’d been going through? But only that it didn’t mess up her well ordered life. Happy Sunday dinners while mum puts the screws to me and I don’t complain but swallow it; she being the miss goody two little shoes while I’m constantly branded the Miss scarlet!
I looked at Sweet and whilst I contemplated the best way to reply her silly question; oh well; I thought to myself; why show her that I had come to discover what a deceptive, self-centered lady she had become.
“My dear sister”
“It’s not like I want to leave but somehow, situation between those two (pointing a finger towards the direction of the door to indicate I meant our parents) and I have so degenerated and frankly, staying under the same roof, someone’s going to die one day and I don’t want to add it to my sins-’’
“You won’t be doing any good if you leave and no one will die!”
Sweet cut in, wailing: I looked at her with studied nonchalance though I was seething inside, wanting to vent on her as I had on mum and dad but to what end? I wondered bitterly.
“Sweet, do you not want for me to be happy? Don’t you want me to go to bed without being so depressed wishing I never woke up? Do you enjoy the way mum destroys me each day? I could go on asking you so many questions but to what end? I expected you to console me, give me all the support and encouragement I need and even go as far as inviting me over to your home till I can get a place of my own, yet, here you are”
I could see her visibly regrouping; trying to compose her features to suit that of someone wounded by my words! How did I get to be surrounded by these people? I could just read them like the symptoms of recurrent malaria!
“Sis, how can you say that? Of course, I’d want for you to come stay with us, but you know how it is; mum won’t be happy with me at all if I did that; you know you should apologize to her, but I’m sure you’d manage. Lest I forget, what hotel would you be lodged at so I can at least know your whereabouts?”
As I made to reply her, the house help came in to announce a guest named Amina was downstairs in the sitting room waiting to see me and I knew it was my cue to leave.
Thank you all so much for reading..
I'd be back to next week for another episode. Stay blessed and have a splendid weekend!
This post is my way of appreciating Myne whitman.
With her, I re-discovered my love for writing..
Through her I had some of my confidence restored..
She's touched my life in so many ways and I want to say Happy birthday, very many happy returns and may the best in life, your hope and dreams, aspirations never be far from you..
This would be a series for a week or so, I must add that it was first posted on www.naijastories.com I think you all should check it out if you haven't yet.. It is the best place to be..
You 'd turn out better than you were before you got there.
Once again, Happy Birthday Myne!
Here it goes..
“... You’re beginning to add weight, you know?”
At this, I cringed inwardly; “There she goes again” I thought to myself and pretended not to hear what my mum had just said. This was supposed to be a happy Sunday; couldn’t there be a respite from this continuous shredding of my spirit and unpleasantness?
“Mummy please don’t start now” My younger sister, Sweet said; she and her husband had come with their 6month old baby (Anita) for the Sunday early dinner which is a weekly ritual. She didn’t like situations like this especially with her husband present.
“Don’t start what, tell me? Honestly your sister has become a great disappointment to me and your father. Take our lane for example: How many girls her age are not married? Let’s say they misbehaved, at least, they have kids to show for their sluttish behaviour”
“Mum!” Sweet screeched;
“Don’t ‘mum’ me, I’m sick of seeing your sister’s face. What has she done without getting in to a situation which your father and I have had to wade in and pull her out before she drowned both herself and us?”
Several emotions had begun to brew inside of me, ranging from shame, sadness, melancholy, frustration and then anger. I have never been one to trade insults with my parents; wasn’t the way we were brought up. The appetite I had worked up had all but disappeared. I looked to my dad to put a rein on mother but the way he kept quiet showed he was in support of the way she was slicing me up with no regard for my dignity in front of my sister’s husband Kola and our family friend, Uncle Jay. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I opened my mouth and began to speak:
“Mummy, Daddy, tell me where I went wrong; I’ve always listened to you, obeyed you, walked the steps you insisted I take. I gave up my love for Engineering and instead went in for Medicine; when my colleagues and friends started getting married, it was you daddy who stopped me from attending weddings, which according to you, ‘they’d distract me’ and so I listened to you. I drove my suitors away in the name of completing my studies and specializing; why do you hate me this much? Why can’t you let me feel safe and happy being a part of this family? Look at Sweet; you allowed her get married while still in school and not only that, she studied English Literature, her first love without any objections from you; where exactly have I gone wrong?”
Despite the outburst, it wasn’t enough, I could barely keep it in, my chest heaved; I almost burst in to tears but didn’t want to give my mum that satisfaction. Uncle Jay lowered his eyes in embarrassment. At that time, I didn’t even care what anyone thought and to hell with dinner!
Daddy cleared his throat and declared that we pray for the meal before us, whether out of a desperate attempt at humour or relish that the words mum had uttered had reduced me to a bag of tumbled emotions, he cynically smiled and asked what all the ‘noise’ was for while everyone else tried to settle into a semblance of normalcy.
I looked at him in astonishment; all this had happened in his presence and he wasn’t even bothered, like I didn’t even exist. My heart shattered to pieces. I mean, this was too much! Just too much for even me to bear.
“This isn’t over!”
I blurted out angrily.
“You can’t keep doing this to me, I’m also a member of this family, look at me mummy, daddy, tell me what it is that I’ve done to you that is so bad that I can’t be forgiven”
All at once, everyone began to talk but not that I cared anyway:
-“Sis, take it easy now, let it go, why did you have to bring it up again?”(Sweet)
-“Jackie relax please, it’s done” (Kola)
-“Obviously, I won’t be enjoying this dinner” (Uncle Jay)
-“Would you keep quiet?” (Daddy)
Everyone was speaking. Mother looked at me with all the spite and venom she could muster and said to me:
“Everyday I see you and look at you, I hate you more; without mincing words, you’re one mistake of a daughter, bringing me nothing but shame. You think you’re something? You are nothing! ‘Think you have paid your dues? What do you think you can do to make me forget the shame you brought on this family by stupidly getting pregnant for that son of an unknown man, that fool!? And yet you sit here and talk to my face like you deserve some respite, something good; I’d be pleased the day I never get to see you again”
“Mother!” Sweet wailed.
Mum held up her hand to halt any further statement from anyone. I stood up, feeling blood rush into my head, this kind of numbing pain that I didn’t know where it emanated and said:
“For as long as you live mother, you would never see my face”
Amidst the shock and bewilderment that heralded the faces at the table, I quietly left the table for my room. There, I began to pack up my belongings. My mind had blanked out what had just transpired between my mum and I for at least a while. How would I get a new place to live at such short notice?
..I had gotten pregnant for Frankie and decided to keep it even though he had protested vehemently that he didn’t want to have any baby with me and not outside wedlock: I wanted to settle down at the age of 26 which was as a result of mother’s continuous nagging. I thought that with time, he’d get used to the idea and come around but with time, he just froze me out when he saw that I was adamant. My folks couldn’t believe it; I was assaulted by them verbally and psychologically each day; I was even denied food! Like magic, I suddenly went broke and had to depend on them, life was chaotic.
Finally, I caved in to my parents demand to terminate the pregnancy; I went with my dad to remove a four month old pregnancy which fortunately wasn’t all that visible because of the kind of physique I had. After the pain and trauma, I vowed never to be caught in such a situation or any other irresponsible act again and I have never since looked back but tried my best to please my parents and make them proud which obviously didn’t count for anything as they love to remind me of my past indiscretion.
The voices downstairs brought me out of my reverie, I then made a call to Aisha, my friend and colleague in the hope that I could stay with her temporarily before I get a place of my own to which, she readily agreed. As I waited for Aisha to come pick me, I stared out of the window of my room wondering what life has in store for me.
So people.. That's it for today; I'd be back for more..
Love you all so very much..
Hey everyone, I want to thank you all for nominating me and voting for me. That though I didn’t win, I am glad I was even nominated in the first place. It was such an honor; a wonderful thing that not up to a year of blogging and here I am, you all have recognized me and thought me worthy enough to be nominated and voted for. Special thanks to MyneWhitman for campaigning for me; I’m so touched and grateful dear for going all the way for me. I also want to commend GNG for all her hard work. Keep doing the good work. This also saying Congrats to all the nominees and winners of this year’s Nigerian Blog Awards!
Noticed any difference on my blog? The new template, well like I said earlier, my blog is going through a personality identity/ confusion phase and wants to find a template that goes with its theme and wants a template readers can read posts in full at once without having to click to open to read the full post and also with a feature that provides you with being able to tweet, Digg, Stumble upon, Facebook it etc. Yet this particular colour is too bright for me and the pets are a little too cheery and young for my taste, I’m totally not feeling it... You won’t believe that I have tried out 60 templates but I’m still at loss. Do you have any ideas where I get what I need? Please let me know.
Something else you would be seeing on my blog is whenever I upload a new post which would be more often this time; it would be 3-4 posts at a time. Yes! That is the new me. I did that with the HONESTY MEME, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? URGENT ADVICE NEEDED and MURDER!!! All this done in a bid to give you my dear readers’ variety as well as a lot of stuff to read and digest. So, I am saying I would try to give as many posts in a day as possible but if I don’t, please, I beg you do not crucify me. I promise you that this blog would get better but only with your help.
I want to thank some of my faithful readers, for your support and making me feel needed: MyneWhitman, Wildboy, Sis Yemmie, CurvyGurl, LDP, T-Notes, Fabu-lola, Nakedsha, MsladyDeborah, Histreasure, Sting, Miss Fab, Fragilelooks, YNB, Happy BBB, Suru and Muyiwa. Did I not mention you? I mean my steadfast readers lol, please let me know.
Then those of you who just read and don’t comment, I still know you (In the spirit) lol, I also want to thank you so much for being a faithful reader, I also want to appreciate my faithful subscribers (123) of them the last time I checked; thank you all so very much; The last goes to my FOLLOWERS; where would I be without you? I mean when I first started, I didn’t know jack about blogging, all I knew was I had to write and I needed to make a difference with my writing; It was so difficult and a bit frustrating and my dearest friend jobsfornaija would always tell me to do it myself ( wicked girl, I love you!) and sometimes help me, I started out with following BROWNSKINNAIJACHIC, that was where I got to find you all I tell you it’s been a wonderful journey, and later jobsfornaija threw me to the wolves ie, I should do it myself. I have to tell you I stumbled so many times but being me, I became determined that I had to get this right and I started asking questions.
I asked my blog mentor Mista Jaycee, Have you met him? You should; he’s great, he adviced me and gave me the push I needed, he then introduced me to Bombcell, at first she was cautious but I have to say that hot chic has a big heart! And she gave me the rest of ammunition that I needed except like the dolo I am sometimes, I had no knowledge of how to make use of the tools given to me by these wonderful people. But now I do and I am grateful and thankful.
I also have to thank Kristla; you are such a wonderful person, thank you for all your help.
I want to thank all those who supported me in the WE ARE JOS campaign, most especially Suru, Mynewhitman, Muyiwa and Sting. I want to thank all her members and the zeal you showed-But this, we’d discuss later.
This is to say, that you all deserve to be appreciated and I am here to do just that. FREE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS is about to rise to another level; raise with me everyone.
I want to let you know that my love for you is more than you can imagine.
Hello my dear friends! I feel so awkward doing this but I owe it to STING who tagged me in her HONESTY MEME, unlike sting’s blog, this isn’t personal blog but sometimes, I’ve been know to get personal. I honestly don’t how to do this, but so as not to get it wrong, I had to copy and paste on ms-Dos so as not to mess it up, and please feel free to join the train and do this on your blogs; consider yourselves tagged!
1. Right now I’m feeling.... a bit frustrated, sad and dissatisfied. I’m cold too.
2. When I’m alone I feel.... happy, simply cause I love to be by myself, except with friends but after a little while, I get tired of their company and this applies to my family.
3. When I’m surrounded by people I feel.....Depends on the people, those I do not know, I feel panicky, extremely shy; with friends, I’m loud, playful, quiet, depends on my mood.
4. One thing I hate is....being dependent.
5. One thing I really like about myself is ....I adapt quickly to whatever situation I find myself.
6. When I’m feeling sad I...... My defenses are impenetrable and I shut everyone out, that time I’m so busy writing my poems, stories and preparing for my cases because that’s when I get my best inspiration and I excel.
7. When I daydream it's usually about......This is just too personal, oops! Sorry.
8. I'm afraid of.....Being alone dying young
9. I'm happiest when......when God answers my prayers, when those I consider as friends and family check up on me and when I make money.
10. One thing that really worries me is..... Truth is a lot of things worry me I can’t even begin to choose.
11. If I could change one thing about myself it would be.....Nothing.
12. If I could be with anyone right now I would be with.....Wow…Privacy please!!!!
13. The family member I am closest to is........Actually, they change positions, depends what’s favorable and acceptable to who at every given point in time.
14. If I was really honest with my father I would tell him....I love him and that I am proud of him.
15. One thing I regret about my life is ......Nothing really, because, events always overtake the regrets.
16. If I only had one more day to live I would......reconcile myself with GOD and ask for forgiveness, then, write series of letters to my loved ones, whilst keeping my house in order.
17. If I was really honest with my mother I would tell her.....I am always honest with her so I do not have anything I have left out from her.
18. One thing about me that nobody knows is......I love spending time in the loo, and I make sure I’m not disturbed, I could spend hours there.
19. I hope that someday in the future.....I will touch so many lives, make so many people smile and give them a new reason to continue living.
20. When I think about my family I feel.....Some days I smile, others, I cry, lock myself up or I just want to disappear or wish I could hide under my bed and not be seen.
21. Something I’m really embarrassed about is......the fact that I am asthmatic, can’t do without my glasses and my grey hair despite my young age
22. One thing about me I never want to change is.....my zeal to always want to give when I can; be it money, love compassion, attention, encouragement etc.
23. One thing I feel really proud of it.....Excelling against all odds, because boy, I sure had a loads of odds!
24. Blogsville has helped me to.....Heal, come back from the dark place where I was.
25. One thing I like about blogsville is when I’m done doing my blog rounds, I do not leave the same way I came, meaning I leave feeling inspired, encouraged, smiling and learning just one more lesson. Plus I have this feeling of being cared about by such wonderful friends even if they aren’t by my side, their words are.
There, I hope I did some good work yeah? Whew! See me sweating! STING take time oh... Lol...
Please vote for me (2CUTE4U) on www.nigerianblogawards.com for BLOGGER WITH A CAUSE. I won’t let you down with my victory gift...
Thank you all.
With that, I tag, Nutty J, Myne Whitman, Sis yemmie, Carey, Yankeenaijababe, Wild Boy, L.D.P, CurvyGURL, Bombshell, Muyiwa, Suru, HappyBBB, T-Notes, Jaycee, HisTreasure, Naijalines, SassyTrends, jobsfornaija ,F, Miss Fab FabulouslyUnwritten, Cellebralbusy, shorty, Konfirmed, Fragilelooks, biko, add yourselves dey go!
Loving you more each day!
Hi everyone, it’s been a while now since I’ve blogged or at the very least, it seems that way to me; I have been bedridden and in pains. On Thursday morning the 13th of May 2010, it seemed I would lose my life to an ailment I have lived with most of my life. I’m asthmatic. The chronic kind; but prior to that day, the previous week or so, I had gone for my medication so I wasn’t worried for my health besides, that was the least of my worries because I was plagued with measles, typhoid and malaria. Someone asked me if there was anyone I had wronged, just me? All at once? So as I lay on my bed to weak to speak, I had difficulty in breathing which, I thought would pass and in a matter of seconds I was barely hanging by the tread.
Inside of me, at that moment, I had given up on surviving it this time, I believed this wasn’t my lucky day as I wasn’t expecting anyone to come check on me in my room at that time. I was ready to meet my maker and had asked for forgiveness the best way I could.
I lost consciousness and it happened that God used my little cousin who woke up early and sort of drifted to my room since the T.V in my room was on, to save me and that has been a mystery to me. I’d like to think that God has great plans for me and I am eager to know what it seeing that he keeps saving me.
That brings me to the next issue I need to get of my chest. I don’t like being unhappy or hurt if I can afford it and I try as much as possible to avoid it but still it comes in different ways. I’m not here lament or wallow in self-pity but still, I’m entitled to question things I find abnormal. Please correct me if I’m wrong but when you’re ill, your core friends are supposed to check in on you, show they care right? So, I won’t be assuming too much if I feel the people I have as my so called close friends should call me and inquire after me? They should ‘embarrass’ me with phone calls and text messages but I got none of that and to say that I’m angry is an understatement! I am also hurt and I feel like crying. Someone would probably tell me that life isn’t always about me and that they probably had stuff going on in their lives yeah? I disagree. I’m not self-centered nor do I expect so much from my friends. I am always there for them, not that I expect that to be a pre-requisite for their care or affection. But, it hurt, so very much that I find my heart breaking all over again. There are times that you can be vulnerable and need to be reassured that you have people who actually care about you and at that state of my vulnerability, they were found wanting; it just buttresses the fact that I am destined to be a loner. I have decided to drop all my ‘friends’ seeing that I don’t want to get hurt. I would cope, afterall, I did while I was ill didn’t I?
I just need to thank Seye Kuyinu of www.seye.blogspot.com your calls, text messages as well as the time you gave to me is appreciated and I sincerely hope I can repay you. Thanks for being there.
‘Bleble’ (for that’s what I call her) for checking in on me. Despite her busy schedule as the Editor of a publication, she still had my time and to think before now I barely gave her time. Thank you so much dear.
Nat who has a demanding job and also is working on his new album still kept checking up on me. I would upload two of his new songs for you but with his permission of course although he doesn’t need publicity from me since he already has it but I’d most sincerely want to be the first to play it on the internet since I have it already.
Abdulameed, for what it’s worth, thank you so much for calling.
Most of my friends read my blog and if I when you do, I’m dead serious about this post. Most times you all think I’m one strong lady but please I’m no SUPERWOMAN and definitely not SUPERHUMAN! I’m just tired of acting strong, of taking all the crap you all dish out. I am tired! I am fed up! There’s a limit to my patience and understanding, I can’t take it anymore. I’d be glad if we never speak again! There’s no harm in being without friends; after all, I’ve had loads of years of experience; I’m an only child so please, get going!
Are you a guy and love JUSTIN BIEBER’s songs? Please send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org saying you do and your reasons. Just for guys! You’d get a wonderful surprise!
You must be wondering about the heading I used for this post but just you read through;
I have no reservations about G-strings; they make you sexy, daring yeah?
I even get to wear these when I am wearing some tight skirts or pants and don’t want my panty-line to be defined.
But sometimes when I see some ‘bums’ wearing these things, I marvel.
I have a married friend whose bum is as wide as my hands when I open them to embrace a big person and she says that her husband can’t stand seeing her wear boxer panties or full pants. I asked her about just wearing real lacy or sheer panties and she still says not admitted in her bedroom.
I don’t you, but apart from the few g-strings I have for such tighties when I wear them, I’m the lacy panties and boxer panties chick any day.
G-strings make me so uncomfortable and sort of itch and I marvel at the craze, (yeah, I heard, it makes you feel sexy and your hubby or boyfriend wants you more-eyes rolling- yeah right!)
I had this crush on this guy I was almost going gaga for and went to pay him a visit and then when he went to have his bath and he was dressing up, he wore his g-strings and came to show me; Kai!I died and woke up, my attraction for him started dying from that day. All the time we were hanging that evening I kept thinking that this guy had on a g-string. I may be old fashioned, but abeg that I cannot take.
Then when I was in law school, I had this friend I used to go visit her in her room (who incidentally is the chick whose hubby can’t stand anything other than G-strings or thongs) this girl would even wear g-strings when she’s in her period and anyone looking will notice it. I mean, what the heck is that?! And not like she’s comfortable with it oh, that’s how she’d keep adjusting and re-adjusting. I tire!
Please wear that which you feel comfortable in.I beg you. There are still some small panties that are small and not full and would still look real sexy.
Click here to getImages &
G Strings PicturesHave you visited http://helpnigeria.blogspot.com today?
Please do. I love you to bits.